


Multi-Universal Connection

by NamelessAuthor



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Angst, Complicated Relationships, Eventual Sex, F/M, Love, Secrets, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 00:13:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14726294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelessAuthor/pseuds/NamelessAuthor
Summary: While in the Prime Universe, Mirror Lorca finds himself conflicted as to how close he can allow himself to get to this version of Katrina Cornwell until he realizes that their bond is so strong that even alternate realities cannot stop him from loving her.





	Multi-Universal Connection

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic in a looong time, also my first Discovery fic- so please be gentle! I just needed to get some of my Katriel ideas out there! I also tried something a little different with alternating between each character's POV, not sure if it works or not though.
> 
> PSA: if you ship Lorca/Burnham, then you may wish to click the Back button because this fic erases any trace of an attraction he had to her.
> 
> This fic is basically just Gabriel loving on Katrina from a different universe and wanting her to be happy because he sees that she's hurting as much as he is. He believes that he's lost his Katrina and she, her Gabriel... so he wants them both to enjoy what they have in each other while it's possible. I know people thought of this scene in the show as Gabriel raping her, but I wanted to re-write it and make it about two lonely people seeking comfort in someone so similar to the one they love. Plus, I don't think I could ever write a rape-fic and really do it justice on an emotional/psychological level (but I may look into it some day). I also see Gabriel's actions after this as him acting out of fear- fear that the phaser incident (due to PTSD) would expose his true identity, so he pushes her away before she finds out... this may also be something I'll consider writing up eventually. I just wanted cute, feelsy angst okay?!

First, Katrina came to him as an Admiral. She expressed her concerns with his methods from the viewpoint of a superior officer, but as one who is willing to work with him rather than against him. She knows others would not be as lenient, so she tried to emphasize her trust while reinforcing Starfleet’s protocol. That didn’t work. So, instead, she decided to come to him as a friend, and physically this time. She’ll speak to him as someone who has a deep, personal connection to him, someone who has known him for a very long time. Maybe then he’ll listen to her…  
They have a rich history together. She thought that this would get him to understand that all she wanted to do was be there for him- a dear friend of hers whom has endured so very much and may need to be guided back on the right path.

~~~

But, HE didn’t need help. He isn’t the man she thinks he is. He knew exactly what he was doing and he knew that it wouldn’t sit well with… anyone, should they know the truth. But they mustn’t… he’s come this far and he can’t allow his secret to be exposed. He’s taking huge risks, he’s well-aware of that and he’s content with that- just as long as it gets the results that he, personally, wants.  
He just needs a little more time. Time that he doesn’t appear to have much of anymore. Especially with someone like Katrina here, physically here, with him. She knows something… but he just hopes it’s less than what he assumes she knows.

~~~

She’s sitting here with him, in the intimacy of his private quarters, and they’re sharing a drink… something they hadn’t done literally in years and it felt so natural, so familiar, so right to do so again. But, something also felt… off. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it just yet, it’s been a long time and she knows that particularly traumatic events can change a person’s psyche drastically- it would be no surprise if the things that Gabriel had endured altered his way of thinking. But Katrina just hopes, no prays, that there is still some semblance of the old Gabriel in there and that he’ll hear her out. She only has his best interests at heart. It’s just a matter of trying to decode his thoughts and mannerisms. Reading him is a lot more difficult than it used to be.

~~~

He listens as she talks so fondly of their past, playing the empathy card. He knows that game well… there’s a little more to her recollection, however, there’s emotion in there that isn’t coming from the psychiatrist part of her, but the personal connection that the two had. It’s clear that she cares about him still… after so long. But he just isn’t that same man she’s shared those experiences with. He’s a different person with the same face. It’s clear to him that she’s trying to find the man that she believes has been lost in there amongst the pain, agony and torture he’s endured but… he’s not in there. He never was.

~~~

She, however, believes that he's simply repressing parts of his past self. She knows that it’s tough trying to reconnect to a friend whom she’s not seen in such a long time, especially one who has changed as much as Gabriel has. He’s so very closed off now, but she’s determined to not give up. She wants to help him, she knows that he’s struggling and that he’s too stubborn to admit that, but she’s also too stubborn to accept it. All she wants is for him to let her in, not the Admiral, not anyone from Starfleet, but HER. That would be a start. They used to share everything together, they were practically inseparable when they were studying together at the academy; then so much changed. How could there be such a barrier between them now and, more importantly, why wasn’t he letting her past it? It hurt... and that hurt was conveyed in the shine of her bright eyes as they meet his in this tender conversation.

~~~

The way she looks at him… it speaks so much to him, to a man who doesn’t even know her; not this version of her anyway. He can see the compassion in her gaze in the soft light of the darkened room. He can see how much she cares, not just about her job but about HIM.  
Whoever he was in this universe, he clearly meant so very much to her. She is so devoted to him, but she’s professional enough, and intelligent enough, to keep her feelings reserved for times like this- when there’s just the two of them and nobody else. He may not be that same man but he’s already finding himself falling head over heels for her. She’s so different, yet so similar, to the Katrina Cornwell that he knew, and there’s a wonder about her that has him transfixed all the same.

~~~

She notices him starting to relax a little more, there’s a point where he even smiles. It’s progress. He’s starting to feel comfortable again so surely, he must know that she’s here as his friend and she isn’t out to get him. Surely, he still TRUSTS her.  
He moves closer to her now, bridging that gap between them; a gap that had been there for far too long. Is this his way of making amends? If so, then she’ll gladly follow suit. He even starts to get a little flirty, but maybe that’s the alcohol talking. They haven’t been… intimate together in years, mostly due to the fact that their work kept them separated for long periods of time, and that Starfleet would be less than pleased… especially with Katrina being an Admiral now. However, it doesn’t stop Gabriel’s hand coming to rest on her thigh and it doesn’t stop her heart rate from increasing as he does so. Clearly there is something still there after all and it’s… a relief to her. He’s still Gabriel and he still feels close to her, after spending so very long apart.

~~~

Maybe he was being too paranoid earlier. The smile upon her graceful features tells him that she certainly does harbour a fondness for him still… and he can’t bring himself to tell her that he isn’t the same man. One thing he is certain of, however, is that he shares his counterpart’s same feelings for her. He may not have known THIS version of her long, but he can see how wonderful she is. The version of her he did know was so very different, but she shared the same compassion, strength and boldness and she meant so much to him too… he misses her dearly. Much like this woman before him misses her friend as well. Perhaps both of them longing to have THEIR partner back will bring them closer together.

~~~

She’s missed this intimacy and the way his hand delicately caresses her thigh tells her that he desires the same. It’s a closeness that she grants him. To hell with regulations, no one needs to know that an Admiral seeks the affection that a close friend can give her. She’s professional enough to not let it interfere with her job, they know that… and as she rises to her feet, removing her badge from her jacket it symbolizes that, at this point in time, she is not Admiral Cornwell, but she is Katrina.  
She is Katrina and she seeks the intimacy of a man whom she had given her heart to many years ago and whom still holds onto a piece of it now. He may be a different man, a fragile man, but he’s still a man she harbours feelings for. Regulations cannot stop the heart from wanting what it wants. They are so well-versed in this dance that after each tango with these boundaries, it makes them; makes HER feel invincible.

~~~

As she stands before him, badge on the table, a smirk forms on his lips as he reaches his hands out to take hold of hers, inviting her to come to him… and she does. Gently, he brings her down onto his lap; his eyes never leaving hers as he closes the distance between them. She wants this just as much as he does, NEEDS it, even. That’s more than what he needs to know. He’s lonely, and so is she… but they can be lonely together.  
He misses HIS Katrina and by doing this with her, maybe it will mend a little piece of his broken heart, even just for a little while and maybe, just maybe, it’ll help her too. Even if she learns the truth someday too… maybe this will be a reminder of the one time that their feelings for one another crossed the universes and brought them one blissful night of togetherness that they both longed for. It seems that in every universe they cannot simply just have a relationship without contingencies separating them; but this one opportunity to just have some sense of normalcy, surely would be as content for her as it is for him, no matter how fleeting it may be. He just doesn’t want to let go of her. Here she sits so elegantly atop his lap, his hands caress up her slender thighs, rest on her hips for a moment before they encircle possessively around her waist and their lips meet in a heated kiss. Right now, she is his and nothing else matters to him…

~~~

The way he pulls her body to his and doesn’t let go, the way he kisses her so frantically yet passionately… it’s so needy and that tells her something is on his mind. Has he really missed her this much? They’d both accepted long ago that their career paths had taken them away from a serious commitment and that such intimacies would be few and far between… but was there something more? Was he still harbouring those same feelings for her that they shared all those years ago? Their relationship had always been a difficult one to define and right now… there are no words that she feels can accurately describe it.  
This poor, damaged man… the comfort that he seeks in her touches must be to soothe him from the guilt, the mourning, the stress. As her hands caress his maturing features, it’s a silent way of telling him that she’s there, she always will be there for him- as a friend, as a colleague, as a lover, as a confidant; whatever he needs her to be. She isn’t quite sure at present, but… she’s there. And, in truth, she had missed being this close to him too. She missed what they used to have, the intimacy and the inseparable and unstoppable companionship of two people who were very much in love. She wanted this so much… she wanted Gabriel.

~~~

He finds comfort in the warmth of her body atop his and in the way her nimble digits expertly caress his face while they continue to kiss with such familiarity. He can’t help but wonder how similar she is to HIS Katrina… but he cannot compare- they are two completely different women. He wishes that she was his, but maybe that’s just him being selfish. Maybe that’s him just wanting the Katrina Cornwell from every universe to be his.  
And oh how he wants to claim her as his right now… but no, he’s going to take his time, enjoy these pleasures and make it an experience that heals both of them. He can tell that she’s conflicted between protocol and friendship, he wants her to trust him the same way that she trusted the other him. Is he using her? No, he’s connecting to her.

~~~

His hands roaming her body, it feels as if they’re… exploring her, trying to entice reactions from her. She’s always known Gabriel to be the one “in control” in the bedroom, his actions presently however, seem to have a different intention behind them… this felt more like he was seeking approval from her… but he should know that he always has permission with her, it’s been a part of their relationship since the beginning.  
She presses her body a little more firmly against his now, her hips softly grinding against his, telling him that she wanted this; that Admiral Cornwell wasn’t going to suddenly put a stop to it, Katrina was here and she wanted to reignite the fire that had been slowly burning out since that incident with the Buran. She couldn’t let him fade away and as she grips his shoulders, crumpling his uniform jacket under her hands, it’s her clinging onto the man she cares so deeply for, it’s her hoping that she can keep hold of him.

~~~

“I’m not your man, you can’t fix someone who isn’t damaged the way you think he is.” He would think in response to her more soothing, consoling caresses. The gestures from her hands juxtaposing to the more eager movements of her hips and the passion behind her kissing. But, she is fixing him in another way… just this alone is making him feel less pain about losing HIS Katrina and he is so grateful for that. He never wants it to end… he never wants to be alone again. He wants to keep her in his arms forever.  
When he elicits that first moan from her by sliding a hand up her slender torso and gently squeezing a breast, that’s what spurs him on past simply touching. Finding the zipper of her jacket, he tugs it down slowly and she then shrugs it off her shoulders, discarding the item on the floor. Gabriel’s lips soon wander down her neck, earning more content little hums of approval from Katrina. "Patience darling… this is just getting started."

~~~

Now things begin to feel more familiar as those lips leave a trail of kisses from her mouth, along her jaw, down her throat until he reaches her collarbone. She tilts her head back slightly, eyes closing as such pleasured hums escape her lips. His actions are still very attentive and methodical, but they seem more confident now. Whatever is going on in that mind of his, it seems that this is already helping him. They don’t use sex as an excuse or rely on it for their bond to hold true… but such a personal closeness with the other has eased each of them through some of their more troubling times, as it would any couple- a reminder that their partner is always there with them in mind, body and soul.

~~~

Hands wander over her body, taking in every contour and memorizing it before roaming back down to the hem of her tank top and trailing the material back up with them until he’s lifting it over her head and adding it to the floor with her jacket. He’s assuming that her Gabriel was slow and intimate like this, so he takes his time in unclasping her bra as his lips lay kisses all over her chest. She’s SO beautiful… she’s slender yet lean, he could feel her muscles tensing and flexing with each little writhe of pleasure and when he finally removes her bra, exposing her perky little breasts… oh how he was mesmerized. 

~~~

She finds herself slowly arching her back as he continues to discard her clothing, leaving her completely topless perched on his lap. His kisses and his touches still feel a little tentative, experimenting… It had been so long since they’d done this and she knows that he’s been through so much, maybe he just needs some coaxing. Her hips were now grinding a little more firmly against him, still a slow pace but enough pressure now that she could feel his bulge in his trousers. Her nimble digits continue to caress his mature features, gently combing through his locks but with enough vigour in them to express her need.  
Had she intended on doing this with him today? No… but she wasn’t complaining. She just wants her Gabriel to come back to her, she’s worried about him and she wants to be here for him as his friend… and not just as his superior officer. She opens her eyes again and looks down at him as he feathers kisses all over her chest, occasionally glancing up at her to gauge her response. She knows that he’s reading the lustful gaze in her eyes just as she is reading the desperation in his. He NEEDS this… what for, however, she’s still a little uncertain. Does he need the passion, or does he simply need her? Whatever he needs this for, she just hopes that it's helping to reassure him as it is for her.

~~~

And, it IS helping him. He’s knowing that what he’s doing is exactly the right thing to please her. Maybe her Gabriel isn’t so different after all and if he can please her like he used to, then maybe it’ll ease her pain as well as his. She's doing this because she loves her Gabriel and he's doing this because Katrina deserves to feel love, in any universe. He can see that she’s aching just as much as he is, and she isn’t the enemy, she cares very deeply for her Gabriel, so he can least grant her the pleasure of being intimate with him again, even if it isn’t really him…  
The moans he is earning from her only encourage him further, he wants her to enjoy this intimacy. He intends to worship her and each kiss across her soft, smooth skin was just a little tease for what’s to come. He is taking his time with her. Slowly, his mouth finally reaches one of her pert nipples and she whimpers softly as he closes his lips around the prominent tip, gently sucking it into full erection. His fingers rise up to mirror the actions of her other nipple. It’s something he enjoyed doing with his Katrina as well. He loved watching as her areolas tauten and the buds turn a dusky deeper pink as they harden. She’s getting aroused now and he uses his other hand, splayed out upon her back, to support her while he pleasures her. "That’s it Katrina, succumb to the pleasures that you deserve…"

~~~

She is trapped in a blissful state of euphoria as Gabriel just worships her chest, resulting in all sorts of hums and moans escaping her. Some of these sounds she didn’t even recognize herself… had it really been that long since she last felt this sexually satisfied?  
She clutches him tightly, desperately even… her arms embracing him, not wanting to let go. Fingers thread through his hair, gently tugging each time he sucks on her sensitive flesh to emulate the same stimulation. She can’t control herself, her back arching and presenting her bust to him, head tilting back as she bites her bottom lip. Her heart was thrumming in her chest as she could feel the heat pulsating through her entire body. Oh, she needs him so badly…

~~~

And knowing just how much she needs him is all he desires, to feel wanted. He’s missed this feeling so very much, he misses HER even more… but this Katrina is just as enchanting. He trails his hands down her sides and under her rear as he slowly picks her up, walking her over to the bed while feathering kisses all over her neck, jaw and chest. He’s intoxicated by her.  
After he sets her down on the bed, he swiftly removes his jacket and undershirt; eyes never leaving her sultry form laying on the bed, half-lidded gaze and a smirk that made his heart skip several beats. He can’t wait to show her just how much he admires her. He slowly leans down and he removes her boots before his hands start to roam up her thighs, very attentive as they stroke along the inner sides, just avoiding where he knows she wants him most. He then unzips her trousers and removes both them and her underwear at the same time, slowly exposing more of her flesh. With every inch exposed comes a light kiss to mark it as his.  
No matter where he is, he wants that universe to know that their version of Katrina Cornwell belongs to him and no one else. He’s never been one to share… her. He’s had other loves before, but they were nothing like her and he would never want anyone else have her. No, he wants her as his and he wants to love her, in every universe. He’s lost his Katrina and she’s lost her Gabriel; now was their time to fill that emptiness with each other.

~~~

She gazes up at him through a lustful gaze, a sultry smirk upon her lips as she watches him undress. The dark shadows cast by the dim light give her a gentle outline of his physique as his muscles flex with each movement of his disrobing. She hadn’t seen him like this in so long; the fire burning within her core was smouldering. She had no idea how much she needed this again… until he climbed back on top of her and captured her lips in such a kiss that left her breathless. Her heart was racing as she arches her back, leaning up into him; craving more. A delicate moan escapes the back of her throat, verbally expressing her NEED, her HUNGER for him.  
Slowly, she drapes her arms over his shoulders and rests them at the back of his neck as their lips continue to move in such a rhythm of passionate kissing that it was almost hypnotic. Soon, her slender legs lift and she hooks them around his hips, drawing their bodies closer together until he’s sliding into her smooth and slick core, joining them together in a unison that had been long-awaited.

~~~

They fit together so PERFECTLY. Not even separate universes can keep them apart. With each slow, firm thrust of his hips, he claims her as his; he holds her so possessively… nothing and no one can take her from him now. As those slender legs of hers hook around his hips, his hands grip her thighs, caressing her silky soft skin and pulling her body against his. He’s being so very possessive over her, he wants every moment of this to count because, no matter how much he tries to fight it, he doesn’t know how long they have.  
As he looks down at her, the euphoria upon her features as her head tilts back and her eyes close… he wants to give her that for eternity. He knows that he can’t, he knows that just being here is such a danger for him but Katrina… she deserves the stars themselves, and he would pluck them from sky himself just to allow her happiness in at least one universe. Of course, he felt bad for what happened to her Gabriel but he was also thankful to just be near her again… to hold her, to embrace her, smell her, taste her… to have her in his arms like he used to. So many unspoken words, so many wasted moments; he could tell there was something similar between them in this universe too, but not quite the same… he couldn’t lose her again; and because of that, he wasn’t going to let her slip away this time. He knew he was going to have to leave her eventually, but Gabriel’s not prepared to do that anytime soon.

~~~

Nothing can separate them tonight. Katrina feels so… complete, she feels as if she has HER Gabriel back and she’s not letting him go this time. She’ll hold onto him for as long as he needs and as her limbs possessively hold him to her while they move in such a blissful rhythm, its Katrina being the selfish one and hording him for herself. Maybe they’re both just so very possessive of the other, almost like an addiction. He’s always on her mind, as she is for him. She’ll always care about Gabriel, she’ll harbour such a fondness for him that it makes their bond eternal. Universe, you can throw whatever you want at him but she’ll never let him go, she’ll be his anchor, his pillar of strength and his guardian angel because he would do the same for her.

~~~

Their love… it is inseparable. He is simply intoxicated by her in this universe, just as he was in his own and while their relationship hasn’t been perfect in either universe, it has been insatiable. He treasures Katrina. Not just HIS Katrina, but her… all of her. And as he makes love to her, he is reminded of the beautiful moments that they are blessed with when they are together. Across different universes, they yearn for one another and sooner or later… the universe will listen and grant them what they crave.


End file.
